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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433
ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. :grin:  :/
ken48
VCCA 42589
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VCCA members have access to a list of over 50 Technical Advisors who can help you with your car. It's worth the price of membership! While you can get a lot of information for free in this forum, sometimes the info that you REALLY need is only available from the right person. This is what "The World's Best Chevrolet Club" is all about!
JOIN THE VCCA TODAY!
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Posts: 29,863 |
"I don't think that we have stolen any money recently." Statement from the director of Indonesia's Central Bank. :o 
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433
ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.   
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Books that will never make the bestseller list: 1. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating 2. Life and Laughter "Midst the Cannibals". 3. The Baron Kinvervankotsdorsprakingatchdern: A New Musical Comedy. :confused:  
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 11,162
ChatMaster - 10,000
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ChatMaster - 10,000
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 11,162 |
3. The Baron Kinvervankotsdorsprakingatchdern: A New Musical Comedy. ![[Linked Image from mytractorforum.com]](http://www.mytractorforum.com/images/smilies/sidelaugh.gif)
Life's a long winding trail, love Jesus and ride a good horse!
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Another stupid statement......
Reporter: What was your major in college
Sen. Carol Moseley Brown (D-Illinois): I'm going to guess it was political science, but I'm not sure. It might have been history. I'll check. I hadn't thought of that one.
:confused: :confused: :confused:
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433
ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433 |
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
:grin: :grin: :grin:
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Game Show Host: What is Hitler's first name? Contestant: Heil! 
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433
ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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Posts: 2,433 |
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). 
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Latest stupid weather report (well......most of the weather reports are stupid):
"The weather service warns the storm carries a significant risk of downed lambs and scattered powder outages, and cautions people not to overexert themselves while shoveling."
:confused: :confused: :confused:
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 860
ChatMaster - 750
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ChatMaster - 750
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Posts: 860 |
"I put a dollar in the change machine, nothing changed"
"Four-Doors-Forever"
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Actual conversation in a phone store:
Salesperson: Do you make a lot of international calls?
Customer: Oh, not many at all. Only to Pennsylvania.
:confused: :confused:
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 860
ChatMaster - 750
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ChatMaster - 750
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"She was only a mailman`s daughter, but she went the whole route with me"
"Four-Doors-Forever"
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Posts: 29,863 |
Another stupid statement from a politician:
"We have to belly up to the buzz saw, and I think we're reaping the whirlwind from it."
Sen. Jim Sasser (Tennessee)
:confused: :confused: :confused:
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 160
Shade Tree Mechanic
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Shade Tree Mechanic
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 160 |
If I say something out in the woods and my wife doesn't hear me, am I still wrong?
Heart of Route 66 Region (Okla) VCCA
Chevys: 1929 LQ 1.5T; 1930 LR 1.5T; 1932 BA 5 pass coupe; 1941 Chevy 1.5T US Army Fire Truck, my vintage '82 Chevy Motor Home
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Joined: Dec 2001
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ChatMaster - 10,000
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ChatMaster - 10,000
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Yes Sam, and you will be wrong forever, there isn't a statue of limitations on what a wife considers a "being wrong thing"
Life's a long winding trail, love Jesus and ride a good horse!
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Joined: Feb 2005
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
:confused:
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Nov 2001
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Crime reports published in a local newspaper:
Suspicious Activity: Caller reported a red squirrel outside of her window acting strangely.
Suspicious Activity: Caller reported that there was a man in a wheelchair holding a beer at the intersection of 8th and Main.
:confused: :confused: :confused:
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 11,162
ChatMaster - 10,000
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ChatMaster - 10,000
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Posts: 11,162 |
JYD that is really good police reports, we usually only have reports of shootings & muggings, loud music, fireing of guns into the air and notices of strayed livestock, along with fatal auto accidents and an ocassional tractor turning upside down and crushing the farmer.
Life's a long winding trail, love Jesus and ride a good horse!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433
ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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Posts: 2,433 |
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,866
ChatMaster - 1,500
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ChatMaster - 1,500
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,866 |
Polish proverb:
A truly wise man never plays leap frog with a unicorn.
I think I'm a fairly wise person because I'm smart enough to realise I'm not too bright.
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Joined: Feb 2005
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?" --Lee Iacocca  :grin:
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Irrefutable Logic: "If he hadn't been tackled, he would have been in for a touchdown." John Madden (statement made during a Packers game) :o :confused:
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,433
ChatMaster - 2,000
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ChatMaster - 2,000
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Posts: 2,433 |
Be who you are and say what you feel...
Because those that matter... don't mind...
And those that mind... don't matter.
ken48
VCCA 42589
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863
Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
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Tech Advisor ChatMaster - 25,000
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 29,863 |
Actual courtroom testimony: Attorney: So, you saw that, did you? Witness: Yes, I did. Attorney: That was pretty far from you. How far can you see? Witness: I can see the moon, how far is that? :o :)
The Mangy Old Mutt
"If It's Not Junk.....It's Not Treasure!"
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