VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions The fun is gone

The fun is gone from my 1950 Chevy Styleline deluxe. Last year my son and I worked on getting the “old girl” running. We were planing on doing a bit at a time and restoring her to, looking good and very functional. Last November, my son had an auto accident and passed away. This stopped the work on the car.

Before our son’s death my wife was even somewhat excited to see the two of us enjoying the car. She even enjoyed the short rides we could take it it. Had to be short rides as it was (and still is) a work in progress to get it safe and reliable enough for going to car shows and things like that. Now I think the car just brings back memories for her that hurt.

I tried to get back into it this summer by upgrading the engine to a 235. Being in physically rough shape, I needed some help doing the “grunt work”. I enlisted help from a local young man who said he had basic knowledge and wanted to learn more. Long story short. I could not be with him 24/7 so he screwed me over. Messing things up and making more work than what he did right.

I have Grand-kids. Ages 12, 11, 10, 6, 6 and 4. The 11 year old lives 1000 miles away. Even though the 12 year old helped a bit with the wiring last year, it seemed that he lost all interest in it. The 11 year old never had much interest it it at all.

Doing “stuff” to it anymore is seeming like work. I need to replace the fuel sending unit and rear shocks and it just seems like a chore to get out and get started. I don’t want to become a lost soul but, it seems that I am getting that way.

A 1950 Chevy was the first car I ever drove. I was excited but I think the passion for me is gone. I am hoping I can get back into the car but, I am unsure how and what to do.

WI_Jeff,

Please accept my deep condolences for your son's passing and give a big virtual hug to the family.

It is also a major bummer that the young man who 'helped' you gave you more problems.

When I'm working on my old trucks, it is a form of therapy for me. Focusing on the project of the day and losing myself in the old mechanical stuff helps mitigate the daily stresses that are elsewhere in my life.

A new way to look at getting your car back on the road might be as a tribute to him and the quality time you had together. I suspect the rest of the family could rally around this idea too.

As for finding some competent help with the car, I suggest that you contact your local VCCA chapter (we call them regions) and connect with people who can steer you to reliable experts to help in the quest. You'll find a list of all the regions, along with contact info, here: VCCA Regions around the world

Our hearts and good wishes are with you.

Take care, Dean

Thanks Dean

Wi_Jeff,

Please accept my condolences for your loss. I can only imagine the range of emotions and feeling of loss for you and your wife.

Thank you for your post. I know that was not an easy decision. Those of us who are regulars on VCCA Chat appreciate when this type information is shared.

I can identify with your comments about the different feelings you have now compared to when you were working on the car with your son. Those feelings match what I discovered as I got deeper and deeper into this classic car hobby. I learned that I now value the relationships that I have developed as much if not more than the satisfaction I get from keeping a classic car going.

I do understand how the loss of your son changed that equation. Right now your view is that getting the car going is more work than a shared adventure.

I could sense your frustration in your posts when you were having work done by others. I endorse Dean’s encouragement to get connected with some VCCA members in your area. They should be able to offer some support and guidance.

With respect to how to move forward with the car, I cannot offer any specific guidance. Just be patient as you and your wife continue your lives and adjusting to the loss. As my mother always said “Things work out”.

WI_Jeff,
I am sorry for your loss. I totally understand what you are going through. I have had my 35 since 1978, (before I married my 1st wife). She liked it and was enthused about fixing it up until I actually spent the time. Then she felt ignored even though it was only a couple of days a week. 3 kids and colleges later, divorced. On my own. I started ripping the car apart. Made some good headway. Met someone else and same scenario but never got married. Split up after 7 years and worked on the car more. Met another who became my 2nd wife. She turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me. She was very excited and enthused about the car. Within a year she was diagnosed with cancer. I also have a Harley which she also enjoyed. The first two never even got on it. Summers were spent taking bike trips, rides to nowhere, riding to Gettysburg, Washington DC, all through New England and Canada, etc. Wasn't working on the car. Spending as much time with her was all I wanted to do. Fast forward 12 years, she passed from the cancer 3 years ago. I have been concentrating on fixing the car. It is tough because when I work on it I think of her. Then emotions take over. I haven't ridden the bike really since because of covid. I'm riding again a little and get emotional because she isn't on the back and cut the rides short. The car is done to the point that I can take it for rides to local car shows, which she also liked to attend. It's tough but I do it for her. She never got to ride in it even once but she is there every time I turn the key. It is bittersweet but I'm glad I did it. I'm sure you will be too. Keep that car forever and your son will be with you on every ride.
Hope this helps,
Pete V

Thanks guys

Sorry for your loss. What I would suggest to you sincerely would be to take the car to a real mechanic and let them do the work you cannot do at this time. This will allow you a break from the reminders of working with your son and also put the car in a working condition that might bring joy to others and eventually possibly to yourself. Take a pause and then move ahead.