FWIW I've never used a torque wrench on lug nuts and never had one come loose.
Same here....I only use a torque wrench on critical engine & suspension parts AND when the manual is very specific about it (my motorcycle is a good example...just about every bolt has a torque spec). Nuts & bolts that will be coming off occasionally will be tightened to a point where I can take 'em back off without too much effort.
The local tire shops in town all follow the same rule: Tighten all lug nuts to 80 ft/lb. They are on so tight I have to use a breaker bar with a pipe for added leverage just to get the bolt to move.
I have to loosen them every time I get home. They do it for liability reasons....it is better to leave a driver stranded on the side of the road than to have a wheel come off at speed.
Charlie wrote a post somewhere else about using a torque wrench, he might respond to this...
p.s. When I was in college, my mech professor, a retired automotive mechanical engineer, explained the axle hub's function in detail, which blew me away: The main purpose of the lug nuts & bolts is to stop wheel rotation. They don't distribute the weight of the hub & wheel, the hub is designed to do that. That's why it is very important that the wheel's center hole must fit snugly over the hub with no gaps whatsoever.
Using a wheel with a larger hole than the hub will put the strain on the lug bolts, and true balance will be difficult to achieve. Just about everyone I know that has incorrectly-sized aftermarket wheels complains about the balancing varying...the tire shops say the wheels are perfectly balanced but cannot explain the shimmy at highway speeds. Adding spacers may or may not help.
Notice some "rice rockets" kids drive around with rims that stick way out of the fenders? That is a good example of what NOT to do....moving the wheel's center of gravity outwards of the hub will put a LOT of strain on the lug bolts, wheel bearings, etc.