VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions Best one-liner you know?

Putting socks on a rooster? Jerrygolf.....yep, ken48 made that statement earlier today in the Mechanical Forum. At least you could have changed it to "putting shoes on a gorilla" or something similar when you used it as a one-liner.

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."

:o

That's sorta like the pot calling the kettle black.....

No problem.....lotsa roosters around that need socks

Whenever a politician does something right, it's usually by accident!! :grin:

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

:) :grin:

"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can."

Mark Twain

:o :grin:

God wants us to laugh. That's why he gave us Democrats.... And Republicans.... And Independence.

Independence from what???

"Life is like getting dropped off in the middle of the woods, and then year by year, gradually walking home."

:) :grin:

Speaking of being out in the woods....

He used to be a lumberjack, but he just couldn’t cut it; so they gave him the axe.

"Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent."

:o :cry:

When you flee temptation, leave no address.

:grin:

"A stitch in time would have confused Einstein."

:confused: :confused: :confused:

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
:grin:

"Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars."

:o :o :o

POLISH:

DOBRY ZART TYNFA WART

A good joke is a penny worth

"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level."

Customer Service Notice.....

" Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush orders. If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite. "

"The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way."

:o :cry: :whistle:

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

:o

"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."

:( :( :cry:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

:grin: :grin:

" Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. "

"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television."

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time."

:cool2: :grin: