VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions Best one-liner you know?

"He who forever seeks a brighter tomorrow and finds no happiness today has missed the meaning of life somewhere along the way"

Why is it that people who collect stamps as hobby live in a 4,000 sq. ft. house and have an oversize three car garage and they only own two cars; whereas, car collectors live in a small house in a subdivision with a two car garage that is packed full of junk, and their cars are parked outside on the driveway, in the street, along side of the house, in the backyard and the rest of the cars are parked at a friends house?

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

Why is it that a "pair" of scissors is only one scissors, but a "pair" of knives are two knives?

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Hey 42bill: That is a repeat. Just so you will know in case you are still keeping track of the repeats.

"If you have two of the same......then wouldn't three be better?"

You don't have to explain something you never said.

Hey 42bill: You said that back on March 30, 2006.

"Why is it when you purchase a replacement part for your car that is identical to the original part, when you try to install it you find that the manufacturer changed the bolt hole locations on the replacement part?"

"Beauty is only skin deep but Ugly goes clean to the bone!"

You got all of that right Doggie Doodle!

Why is "squash" cylindrical in shape and fairly dense....instead of.......squashed?

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Bumper sticker on a bright Yellow car with LEMON painted on the trunk:

"IF ANOTHER PART FALLS OFF OF THIS CAR...KEEP IT, IT PROBABLY WILL FIT YOUR CAR BETTER ANYWAY!"

Bumper Sticker: "I have it......you want it.....I can't use it....so I broke it!"

:o :(

My mama tolted me to..........

Pick thish one ...rat ....cheer!


:p :rolleyes:

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:


"I see the sun rising over a field of beautiful wheat. Oops......I'm looking at my screen saver!"

:( :( :(

Skippy,

I think he's trying to say, "pick this one right here."

However, with that (_________) it's usually pretty hard to tell!!!

"If people who are left handed are in their right minds.....then are people who are right handed in their wrong minds?"

:confused:

You must go back and try again. You did NOT fill in one of the required blanks.

If at first you don't succeed; try, try again.

"Please enter your user name and password before continuing!"

:eek:

When in doubt mumble.

"UHBADEE-UHBADEE-UHBADEE-DAT`S-ALL-FOLKS"

"When in doubt mumble." The Mutt posted that one back on December 25, 2005.

"Buckle up! The life you save may be your own!"

:eek: :eek: :eek:

"If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it."

Don't need to tell ya that is another repeat since I think that you already know it.

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander."