VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions Best one-liner you know?

"Wake up and die right!"

:eek: :eek: :eek:

"A mans best friend is his truck"

"I have done this before for the last time......and now I am doing it again for the last time."

Mine is better than ours.

Benjamin Franklin

"Asking who ought to be the boss is like asking who ought to be the tenor in the quartet. Obviously, the man who can sing tenor."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference.

- Tom Brokaw

"If you think you`re sure you know the answer--think again" :confused: :confused: :confused:

"If you're sure that you are right.......then go ahead."

:p

Big remodeling project on the house next door. Was supposed to be $165. Don't know for sure; but with changes and delays, now most certainly over $200k.

I heard TWO one-liners coming from over there today....

1) I cut the damn thing twice and it's still too short.

2) Stick it up your #$%^& @ss.

Whaddaya think? I'm guessing they weren't having a good day!



Bill.

"I never perfected an invention that I did not think about in terms of the service it might give others."

Thomas Edison

“A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill, requires only our silence, which costs nothing.”

John Tillotson

"The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful."

Frederick Locker-Lampson

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

Edgar Bergen

"I've done it this way a thousand times and it has always worked.........until now!"

"A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers"

"When I fix something, it says fixed........that is.....until it breaks again!"

:eek: :( :(

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Benjamin Franklin

Let's start page number 65!

"I came here to pick up something. I definitely know what it is.....but I just can't remember what it is!"

:confused: :confused: :confused:

For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once thought right but found to be otherwise.


Benjamin Franklin

Sounds like Ben might have been a good car judge...

What goes round and round, up and down, but never goes anywhere?

An argument!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

"A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shinning, and who asks for it back when it starts to rain" :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

"Don't throw stones at others when you live in a glass house!"

:eek: :( :(

Leisure is the time for doing something useful. This leisure the diligent person will obtain the lazy one never.

Benjamin Franklin

Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums

Light travels faster than sound.. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

"Since the sun comes up in the east and sets in the west, then why do people in New York think that they are three hours BEHIND the time in California?"

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.

Benjamin Franklin

"A little common sense goes a long way, but not using your brain will get you nowhere!"