VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions Best one-liner you know?

"Frustration is trying to find your glasses without them" :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

"When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly."

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

"Now your old enough to know your way around, but your going nowhere"

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Maybe this should be our motto:

Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

- Napoleon Hill

"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Maybe they're amateurs.

Maybe whoever is asking isn't really a psychic.

And NO maybe about it, that one's been used. (HA on you Skippy!)
Just like so many in the last 4-5 pages.




Bill.

Got to congratulate you once again 42bill for taking the time on a regular basis to cycle through the many pages of "one-liners" to look for repeats so that you can bring them to our attention. Wish we all had the time to check out the repeats like you do. Tell ya what, since you are so dedicated to this project, why don't you list all of hundreds and hundreds of one liner's in alphabetical order and then post them all here? That way each one of us can check the list before we post a new one liner to make sure it isn't a repeat. You are definitely the man for the job!!!!

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

"Have you ever entertained yourself for an hour with just a fly swatter?" :cool2:

"You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word."

:eek: :eek:

What disease did cured ham actually have?

"Your gene pool could use a little chlorine."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I don't have a pool

Speaking of pools, can you cry under water?

All I ask ... is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

:eek: :eek:

"TEAMWORK----never having to take the blame by yourself" :) :o

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Hey Skippy,

Good one. Incidentally, I don't cycle thru all of 'em. Some of 'em apparently just stick in my head. At least better than in yours! HA!

If you want a list of all the repeats, check 'em yourself.

(Next time we have breakfast at Mrs. Q's, I'll TELL you what I was gonna WRITE here. HA, that'll get ya.)



As for a one-liner:

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.


Bill.

Telling time is easy, depending on time to tell is not.

--Joseph A. Ko

"If you want a list of all the repeats, check 'em yourself."

Nope, I don't think so because I am not as concerned as you apparently are as to the number of repeats and who made them. That seems to be in your department since, as you mentioned, you like to keep many of the one-liners stored in your head. So, if the repeats really bother you then you should be the one to make the list. Otherwise, just ignore the repeats since they are bound to happen with 61 pages of one-liners!
Oh, by the way, knowing you for as long as I have, nothing you tell me will "get" me.

"Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he
grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car."

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?