VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions Best one-liner you know?

Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

- Francis Bacon

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing" :p

"The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.

- Shawn Alexander

"The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread."

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

Fred Hoyle

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire."

:( :( :eek:

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

- Carl Sandburg

Are all the repeats of the last few weeks being done intentionally??????

Sort of like this:

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

With some 2061 posts, including the originals and 2 and 3 repeats, over nearly a year (September 30, 2005)........maybe this puppy has run it's course..........

Bill.

Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely.

- Thomas P. Murphy

42bill: It is very doubtful that these repeats are done intentionally, and most of us don't have the time to wade through many of these postings to determine which are repeats and which are not. Nor, can we remember all of the postings either. However, refer to K1dan's posting above concerning a list of all of the one-liners so that we can determine which one-liners are repeats. This is probably a good idea, especially if all of the one-liners are listed alphabetically. That way, before any of us post a one-liner we can refer to the alphabetical list to determine if the one-liner is a repeat.

"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."

There is time for everything.

- Thomas Edison

Welcome to page number 60!

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.

:eek:

Oh Great!

Now NO Santa!

Might as well be Naughty - save Santa the hassle of even trying to make the trip!

Bill.

"The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up."

Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.

Benjamin Franklin

Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

Benjamin Franklin

"The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

"Being old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you are barefooted"

"The more you complain, the longer God makes you live."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.

- William Shakespeare

"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

- E.V. Lucas