VCCA Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSION General Discussions Best one-liner you know?

Going out of business sales? Gator....ya don't understand. Eagle Point has a population of 4,500 people. There is one gas station, three barber shops, a state liquor store, one museum, one grist mill (built in 1872), one pizza palor, one bar, and one small grocery store. The rest of the town consists of grammar, junior high and high schools......all of which are located on the main street of town. About the only thing that might go out of business would be the grocery store.....which is located right across the highway from where the new Wal-Mart Superstore will be. :eek:

The largest town is Medford (about 60,000 people....with no Superstore) and it is about 12 miles from Eagle Point.

Oh, by the way, Wal-Mart is also putting in a gas station as well.

Maybe Southern Oregon will then get gas prices more in line with the rest of the state. There have been a lot of letters to the editor of the Roseburg newpaper complaining of the >30 cent delta of gas prices in Roseburg vs Eugene. The letters may have helped, as the delta is now ~9 cents.

I've been enjoying reading all these tidbits of wisdom and one liners. Thought I add my 2 cents with an oldie: "Lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut". Keep them coming......Bill

Maybe some of the older fellows on this site can explain something to me. In that old song "I wonder who's kissing her now" .....Just what is her "NOW"??????

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance."

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Baginsky ,I heard that the lady over in a bar was shot by her boyfriend and the bullet is in her yet, What is a ladie's Yet????....is it close to her NOW??????


Gator, That is the way the system works, Buy low and sell to everyone! We didn't have anyone around here to go out of business, the ones in business were all closed on Saturdays. (they close up so they can drive over to Stephenville to shop and buy groceries at...Walmart!) We have 40 miles to drive, just a short hop for us. Our local merchants sell a lot of stuff, I guess they must, many of them never have what I need, they all say "Walmart has those ...on sale.

I have noticed that the folks that run down Walmart are usually those folks in the citys and the DFW Metroplex...But us country folks enjoy having a big ole Walmart Supercenter and a Home Depot, even a Walgreens just down the road from us, we all go there a couple times a week.....Gas up on cheap gasoline, buy some good groceries, a shirt & socks, some computer ink, car parts, whatever, and go home happy, check the bank account and Chevy Chatter on the computer, Now we can be somebody right here in our home!

Your to young for questions like that!

I live 2 miles from our town, pop. 753 with a small grcery store, hardware store, gas station, ect. owned by local friends and they hire local people so we support our local town, [there are items we have to out of town for], because they did hire some of our kids when they were in high school and we still appreciate that and that brings us to the point that we all know each other so that the two churchs [Catholic & Lutheran] host each other at Thanksgiving and High School graduation and I can enjoy life and think clearly enough to make this a one liner so as to keep within the threads starting point. :rolleyes:

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

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Good one, JYD

JYD, a slight change in yours that I have heard:

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you can throw it right."

LOL

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? :eek: :eek:

"Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose."

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Three for thought..1. I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I dont know what to feed it. 2. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 3. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?? :confused: :eek: :eek:

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a garlic a day keeps everyone away."

"If you can't read this, you're illiterate."

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.. :confused: :eek: :eek:

"I was going to send you the money I owe you with this letter, but I had already sealed the envelope" :eek: :eek: :eek:

MrMack,
I checked my medical dictionary and can't find a "now" or a "yet". I think Kipper from the UK knows but he thinks I'm to young to know. I would have thought that being 56 would be old enough but I guess it isn't. Maybe you guys are just protecting me from something I don't need to know. Anyway, if the bullet is in her "yet" I know her yet is bigger than the bullet. What kind of bullet was it? Some are bigger than others. That may have some bearing on the situation! Thanks......Bill

" It takes a long time to grow young. "

I'll always be young at heart even though I have a 5 inch part in my hair and whats left is gray at the temples.......Bill

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."

verbal diarrhoea

Kipper it is BEST one liner!